July 10, 2008
I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living. Psalm 142:5.
The pain of glossopharyngeal neuralgia became almost unbearable. For months the pain persisted, and then I began to have difficulty talking, swallowing, and eating. By the time I got home from work, I did not want to communicate with anyone. The phone was out of the question, and I was not able to go to church or other events. I was so fatigued that I did not want to sit at the computer and hammer out emails after I got home.
I needed a refuge from the pain. My mom was here with me, and she posted Bible scriptures everywhere. But the thing that was the absolute best was being able to tell God everything without having to utter a word or to type a message. I prayed in silence.
Those hours alone with God gave me great strength. Nothing was pouring out of me, but God’s love and strength continued to pour in. I received letters and other types of communication from people who know that the Lord set me free from trigeminal neuralgia. Was I angry with God, they wanted to know. Had I asked God why? No and no are my answers. I knew that I was under the wing of God’s Holy Spirit, safe from harm.
Pain doesn’t mean that we are harmed. It has more purposes than I can imagine. I don’t like it, but in the midst of the pain, I knew that God was still with me, not angry, but helping me face a tough situation that I didn’t understand. In my time of refuge with Him, I gained peace. My confidence in the sufficiency of His grace continued to grow.
I have been seeing a chiropractor in Gainesville who practices the Grostic method. Some people call it upper cervical chiropractic. In one treatment, I felt so much better. I have continued to get better every day.
In the past few days, I have regained the cognitive ability that I had several months ago before the pain began. I’m “back in the land of the living.” God provided exactly what I needed as I found refuge in His love.
Have you read With Great Mercy?