With Great Mercy

Finding hope when you have trigeminal neuralgia and other types of pain

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December 19, 2007

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4.

Life is full of its many seasons. Although some are really difficult, we can find beauty that surfaced even during the tough times, the times when we weep. What can one do, though, when so many seasons seem to occur simultaneously?

For my family and me, this December has been a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Today is a day of mourning as well as a day of celebration. I just got home from my mother-in-law’s memorial service. As a family, we came together to mourn our loss and to celebrate Millie’s “graduation.” That’s what her son Roger called it. He said that we were just saying “see you later” until we reach the home beyond this one. We laughed together and cried together.

It was only ten days ago that I was ordained, December 9th. It was a day to dance with the joy of the Lord. Immediately preceding my ordination, I wrestled with the message that God had given me to share with my church. So many times I wanted to tell my pastor: “I’m not called to preach! God has given me other gifts, but not the gift of preaching!” As I prepared the sermon, I groaned, I moaned, and I wept. How can one deliver a sermon she does not understand? Breakthrough came, and God revealed to me the depth of the message.

Just before I was to deliver the message to the congregation, my pastor, Reverend Robin Tripp, Thelma Hensley, Becky Clark, and Amanda Ramos sang It’s My Desire. I was not familiar with the song, but the words of it penetrated my spirit.

IT'S MY DESIRE

It's my desire- to live for Jesus-
It's my desire - to live for Him.
Though often I've failed Him - and brought Him to shame.
It's my desire - to live for Him.

Chorus
If you could see where Jesus brought me from -
And where I am today.
Then you would know the reason why I love Him so -
So you can take this world's wealth and (its) riches -
I don't need Earth's fame -
It's my desire - to live for Him.

It's my desire - to help someone today -
Someone who's fallen - along life's way -
I too was lost, alone - but I was found by God -
It's my desire - to live for Him.

Even though it was a time to dance, I wanted to weep. While the worship team sang the song, I fought back tears. I came home, though, and purchased every rendition of it I could find. It was a time to be blessed, and I was blessed by this song.

In the midst of the Christmas season, life and death march on. I have wanted to stop for a “breather,” but the opportunity has not existed. I’ve wondered how people manage to celebrate Christmas when a loved one passes so close to Christmas Day, but now I know. God’s grace is sufficient for every season, even when they merge into one. God bless you this Christmas.

I’d like to share with you the brief tribute my husband Bob paid to his mother today. In honor of Millie Taylor…

millie"My mother liked to call herself a 'tough old bird,' …but what I remember most about my mom was her love… She loved God, my father, and her 'boys.' She protected and disciplined her sons. 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' she often said. Is it any wonder my mother reared one policeman, two ministers, and an architect? I could say a lot of wonderful things about my mother, but let me present this one snapshot. She knew how to influence others… And all her sons have one thing in common: we love the Lord. You know…I knew my mother all my life. She talked about my father with love... 'He has honey in his voice,' she said. And she never got angry when my dad joked about being happily married for 60 years but married altogether 66 years.  Mom was proud of her sons, and she never seemed to notice that her boys had grown older. In her eyes, we were forever young… In my heart, my mother will be forever alive."

With Great Mercy

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