With Great Mercy

Finding hope when you have trigeminal neuralgia and other types of pain

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November 2, 2007

I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16 (NKJV)lights

Sometimes I am totally blind. My eyes see, but they don’t know where to lead me. My path is etched, but I do not see it. These are the times that challenge me the most: I want to take my next step, but I can’t see it. I must remain where I am and wait for the Lord’s direction.

Most people don’t like to wait, and I am one of them. One reason that waiting frustrates me so is that years of my life were stolen by trigeminal neuralgia. Now that God has healed me, I want to charge ahead. I want to pursue life.

I know that my waiting has a purpose. I must continue to pursue God and His will. This includes taking stock of His blessings. While I wait for direction, I can take inventory of my life and see what God has done for me. If I really want to see these blessings, I must take the time to look.

As I write, the words to a song come to my mind: I can’t even walk. It’s a song that has been around a long time, but I was unfamiliar with it until I heard my cousin, Gregory Whitson, sing it. Here are the words, written by Colbert and Joyce Croft:

I thought that number one would surely be me,
I thought I would be what I wanted to be.
I thought I could build on life's sinking sand,
But I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

I thought I could do a lot on my own,
I thought I could make it all alone;
I thought of myself as a mighty big man,
But I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

Lord I can't even walk without You holding my hand.
The mountain's too high and the valley's too wide.
Down on my knees, I learned to stand.
Because I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

I think that I'll make Jesus my All,
From now on when I'm in trouble, on Him I will call;
If I don't trust Him, I'll be less than a man,
You see I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

Lord I can't even walk without You holding my hand.
The mountain's too high and the valley's too wide.
Down on my knees, I learned to stand.
Because I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

Have you ever asked God to hold your hand? Last blog entry, I wrote about a test. I felt prepared and confident, but when I arrived at the testing site, something unexpected happened. As a result, I could not concentrate. I realized that if God did not help me, I would have no chance in succeeding. I no longer felt prepared, only humbled. I don’t know if I passed or not, but I know that God gave me comfort through the experience. He’s holding my hand, and He’s teaching me to wait, but I can’t even wait unless He’s holding my hand.

Gregory, may God make your paths straight as you serve in our military. He’s still holding your hand. I love you.

Listen to and watch a performance of the song.
(Link takes you to youtube.com)

With Great Mercy

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